Death Day Cake
by wivesofwillows
Summary: Kai and his daughter visit his fiance's grave.


AN: Product of a rainy, feverish, slow morning. Hope you enjoy, and please review if you have time : ) Critiques are very much appreciated.

**J.**

PS: I was listening to the piano cover for Natsuhiboshi whilst editting this and found that it contributes to the story's vibe. I encourage that you take a listen : )

* * *

Light snow fell, creating a soft mist over the secluded graveyard. There was no sound but the rustle of tree branches being swayed gently by a frigid breeze. There was that and crunching footsteps, one set heavy, the other light and un-rhythmic, like that of young child only just learning how to walk.

Kai remembered one of the times Kira came to visit Moscow, his hometown. He hated it there, but she always found something to love about it. One day when they were exploring, they had come across a forested path that lead to a quiet old graveyard. It had no name and was quite a ways away from any populated areas. She had called the place beautiful, with the graves placed between trees where there was space. _"It's not like man-made graves, where they completely clear the area. Here, there's respect for humanity and for nature- like it's supposed to be_" she had said.

"Kanna, do you know where you're going?" questioned a soft, but firm male voice. A little girl wearing a dress, white enough to rival the snows, ran unsteadily through the spaces between gravestones.

"Mommy!" the child said, looking back briefly at Kai before running off again.

Kai was tall and well-built, evident even through his long, thick coat. Black dress shoes and the bottoms of his thin dress pants were covered with powder snow. Reaching out a leather-gloved hand, he said "Kanna, she's not that way, she's the other-"

Kanna had made a sudden turn t the left before he could say anything else. The hood of her poncho had fallen, revealing shoulder length, navy blue hair. It was the exact same color as that of her father, who now followed her with hurried steps.

Kai halted, taken aback.

"Kanna, Kai, Kira- together! Yay!" The little girl leapt and clapped in front of a tombstone that rose to about her shoulders. A statue sat atop of this.

Kanna clumsily slapped away any snow with a small, gloved hand. She had to jump to clear the statue.

Kai fully felt the cold of the weather now. His heart felt heavy as he looked into the flawless face of his fiancé.

A limestone bust of a young woman stared back at him. Her stone hair flowed from her shoulders. It would have been that same navy blue that him and his daughter wore, had she still been alive. Big eyes stared into his own, empty and void of that familiar sparkle that always made him wonder. A sincere, molded smile, slightly slanted, shaped her lips so accurately that he could almost see them moving to form the words _"I do."_

"... Daddy, what say?" said Kanna, pointing to the words below the statue.

""_In loving memory of Kira Hiwatari- mother, fiancé, and teammate. Missing you is impossible, as 'missing' is too small a word to contain what we truly feel. Sleep well and remember that you are infinite_."

As he read, he remembered his days in the hospital with her. She was in a coma for reasons unknown- all the while, pregnant. Her miraculous awakening was hindered by a tough question. "_Kira, for you to ensure that you do not fall back into a coma, you must be willing to run the high risk that your child will die,_" the doctor had said.

"Ooooh, pretty words Daddy! Pretty!" Kanna smiled, running into his arms and touching his face. Kai nodded solemnly. She took his face into her small hands, frowning.

"Daddy cry?" she asked with her small voice.

"No. I never cry" Kai lied. The only people who had ever seen him cry were Voltaire, Boris and Kira. He vowed that no one else would.

"Why?"

"Because I have to be strong for you" Kai smiled faintly. Kanna's bottom lip quivered.

"Okay if I cry Daddy?" Kanna whispered, her eyes watering. Kai nodded. For a two year old girl who hadn't even met her mother, or even understood death…

Kanna began to cry, hiding her face in her father's chest. He held her in her arms, holding her close. She cried quietly, wrapping her arms around her fathers' neck.

In his arms, he held a piece of a woman he still loved. For awhile, he was angry that Kira had chosen to leave him alone, without her, and with a child. He didn't know how to care for child, much less love one. He thought that he couldn't love anyone other than Kira.

But here he was, lovingly hugging his daughter.

He had come a long way, these past couple of years. It was difficult maintaining the tough facade, all the while suffering from what he believed might be every possible unfortunate human emotion possible. Rage, discontent, sadness...

Kai did not yet feel like he had finished on the road to recovery. Some of the numbness was still there. A lot of the time, he felt he was 'ghosting' through his days. However, there were days when he looked at Kanna and things were... a little bit better.

There was a moment of silence.

"Cake" Kai said unexpectedly, breaking the silence.

"… C-cake?" Kanna asked, her face still hidden.

"Lets go get some cake to celebrate your mommy's life" Kai smiled, looking into his daughters' violet eyes.

"… Can it be pink?" Kanna asked, her expression of distress melting into one of curiousity.

"Of course" Kai smiled, kissing her on the cheek. He turned to walk away, taking a last glance at the gravestone.

'_Love you' _Kai thought to himself. '_And I won't ever stop.'_

Kanna had begun humming a song that he had never before heard. Before her mothers' grave was completely out of sight, she waved. "Bye Mommy! I'll eat cake for you!"


End file.
